The Chronicles of Maddogg and the Credit Card Salesman made of butter.

Well, before you read this, lemme tell ya’ll that this is “inspired” from a comic strip I read long ago, I don’t remember which one. So, if you bitches wanna sue my fat plagiaristic ass for that, then bring it on! I have my lawyer on speed dial. \m/

Okay, so this afternoon I was in the kitchen making a sandwich. I was almost done. Just then, a credit card salesman, from no where walked into the kitchen.

“May I interest you in buying a credit card from our company. It gives you many benefits such as lifetime guarantee for…blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah.”

Just then, I noticed that this salesman was no ordinary salesman. His body was made out of butter. Yes. Butter! It was as if he was covered with butter from top to bottom. The Butter dripped down from his body as he was talking to me. This was scary. I had never seen anything lie this.

I said,”what….who the hell are you?”.

“I’m a salesman, umm….you must have noticed I’m made of butter…..erm…you see there was an accident when I was a kid, but that’s another story, can I interest you in applying for a credit card? Its completely free, I just need your documents and you need to sign here, here and here, oh yeah and here”,he said.

I shouted,” noooo!…no one’s selling me any credit cards!!!”.

I knew it was time. I pulled open a drawer and beneath all the spoons and forks, I found the shotgun I had hidden there in case of an emergency. I pulled it out.

*click click* I loaded it.

The salesman looked at me. He fell to the floor, and begged for mercy,” Please have mercy!”

I looked him in the eyes and said,” God has mercy………I don’t.” And then, *plow!* *plow!* I blew his buttered up ass into pieces. As I did that butter flew all across the kitchen. There was butter on the walls, on the floor, on the gas, everywhere!

“…….and that’s why the kitchen is covered all over with butter.” I said to my Mum.

” Are you sure you just don’t know how to make a sandwich?”,Mum said annoyingly.

P.S: I can totally make a sandwich……NOT!